Happy Birthdays.

Six years ago today, I was holding a new little babe in my arms. I fell completely in love for that beautiful girl at first sight. I was overcome with emotion; terrified and overjoyed all at once. The nurses swaddled her tightly and handed her over. She seemed too tiny. I wasn't expecting her to feel so fragile. And yet, so strong. She was pink and beautiful; complete with big, blue eyes, perfect pink lips and long black eyelashes to make any woman envious. When we didn't have visitors, I held her. Just she and I in a peaceful hospital room. We'd stare at each other for hours. I fell completely in love. It felt right.

5 years later, on January 9, 2010, I became a mother of three. I didn't know my heart could feel more whole than it already was, but this new baby boy had a place to fill. With the third, I wouldn't allow the nurses to take him from my room. I knew from experience how quickly these moments pass. I didn't want him out of my sight. I wanted to study him, from his wrinkly wrists to his fuzzy blonde locks and down to his pudgy toes. I didn't want to forget his sweet nose that looked so much like his father's or his mouth that was shaped just like mine. I wanted to change every diaper, feed him every meal and hold him every moment I was allowed.

This is how things should be. This is what life is about. Siblings. Family. Children. Motherhood. Nothing compares. Nothing.

Today, as I reflect on their births, I am celebrating. This is their day, but it is also mine. These sweet children made me me. They made me a mother.

 My sweet girl.

My darling boy.