A few weeks ago, I was up late worrying while my family slept. You see, I am a worrier and an expert fretter. Hours can go by without my notice while I stew about something. And I had something on my mind that night, which meant that sleep wasn’t going to happen. I tried to be productive with my sleeplessness, but I was mostly sitting by my desk, thinking in silence. That was, until I heard my chat application beep at me. It was Hilary. (Bless you, Hilary, for talking with me that night. Ironic that the very medium that I was worrying about brought me a heaven-sent conversation.)
I expressed to Hilary my worries. Was I missing out on playing with children because I was busy tweeting about what I was eating? I didn’t want to be like that. We talked about Twitter and Facebook and Formspring. We both decided that we needed to reevaluate our time. At the end of the conversation Hilary said, “Because of our chat tonight, I'm going to set a limit for myself.” The next day, she canceled her Twitter and Formspring account. She’s inspiring. I followed her lead.
Through all this refocusing, I have found true joy in real life and am at peace with my virtual reality. Right now, I::
:: don’t tweet, formspring or buzz. I didn’t know how much time I wasted on those sites until I deactivated them! And, miraculously, I don’t miss them one bit.
:: whittled down my google reader subscriptions. In the past, it was common for me to find 150+ unread posts every morning. Now it averages 15-20. It was hard to make so many cuts, but I had to limited it to blogs that inspire.
:: refuse to plan my life for my blog. My friend Christina and I agreed over dinner last month that you can tell which blogs plan a party just so they can post about it. I refuse to be that way. My posts will be genuine me. I will party because I like to party.
:: am determined to enjoy every second with my children. Even if my blog suffers. In the end, I know I will be grateful that I gave up chatting with online besties to be a good mother.
I am not writing this to say this is what all mothers should do; every situation is different. But, for me, deleting those social marketing accounts was a relief. I am now present; ready to serve my children. (I even have more time for crafting!) I am determined to make these good days.
For now, blogging will be my one and only online hobby. You can find me HERE and HERE.
I worry about this all the time too. And it's funny - as I focus more on my children I find myself away from the computer a lot more. And I'm OK :)
ReplyDeleteI love this, and you know I can relate. It feels better to be living my life than blogging about it. But the really important things can be blogged and remembered and shared with fun friends. I want to see you again soon! Let's make plans!
ReplyDeleteAwesome post Hannah! I have been struggling on and off with the same issue(s) since I started blogging a little over a year ago. I am in the middle of it all again and feel like a bad blog friend for not visiting people everyday. It is hard because I love it but... I love my son more. I still have some sorting out of my own to do. Thanks for sharing your struggles (sometimes I feel like one of very few who do out in the open)... it really helps to know that other mothers struggle with the same things! I have learned to be okay with the fact that I cannot do it all. I am not sure that anyone can even though it seems that way. The sad thing is... you wonder how much time they are spending with their children. I only blog/craft/blog hop while mine is asleep but... I tend to stay up late to do so and that makes me a crabby momma. Still working on that! Thanks again for sharing... sorry to write a novel! :) Just struggling with lots of issues myself!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! What a good example you are. I am only on Google Reader and my own blog... but I feel the same way too! I don't even have kids, but I realize that I spend more time than is needful online when I should be spending time in the here and now. Thank you for this sweet reminder.
ReplyDeleteWay to go!
ReplyDeleteI agree with all you have said.
Most people just need a good re-evaluation every once in a while.
I too.. just cut down on my posting.. and also on who I follow. It was kinda crazy.. and I felt over-whelmed.
It feels great to find balance!
Don't know you but am a regular reader.
ReplyDeleteSometimes detaching from these networks is a breath of fresh air and something being on these networks are a breath of fresh air.
When it is not serving you well it is time to set boundaries. I am glad you feel good about your decision!
All things in moderation!
Good for you! I use to spend too much time on the computer, then I limited my time to only when my son is sleeping and then I limited it even more after realizing I didn't want to waste that time either.
ReplyDeleteGood for you Hannah! My sleep is what takes a back seat to this time spent online. I too cut way back on blogs in my reader, and it felt good!
ReplyDeleteThanks for a great post!
I applaud your decisions and am slowly doing the same. In fact, I'm sensing a new trend: away from the online social media distractions and back to basics (i.e. family and friends and the real world). Love it!
ReplyDeleteI always have a fear of my child growing up right before my eyes and the regret of all the things I missed. Social networking certainly doesn't help... I usually twitter at red lights and was tempted to cancel my account, but opted to "unfollow" a lot of people instead. My brother is on Twitter and unfortunately, that is how I keep up with the ongoings on his life! He was the type that went away to college and never looked back! The only time I blog is really when I have a card to share, but I too follow way to many blogs on google reader so that is definitely something I need to look at cutting back. One may not know it, but it does take a LOT of time to read a lot of blog entries and tweets. Thank you for sharing this with us. I am certain it was not easy to come to this decision, nor easy to share it with those that follow you....
ReplyDeleteEvery day we make choices that effect both ourselves and our family. What's most important is to keep things in perspective and remain true to yourself. Keep up the good work! I'm sure you're a terrific mom and wife!
ReplyDeleteWonderful post. I do agree with you and I have canceled many online media also. I have a few jobs and the time I spend with my daugther and family at home are precious, more valuable than telling people what I am cooking for dinner.I'm still out there, but I limit myself.You are one of the blogs that I keep up because I do learn something new everytime I read your post. Have a wonderful week.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post Hannah. It is so important for all of us to evaluate our time every so often. It is easy to let ourselves get off balance. Also, I absolutely LOVE your new blog cataloging your cards!
ReplyDeleteI deleted my facebook account about a month ago because of the very same reason. It's easy to get caught up in the internet-world and fail to see the more important things right in front of you and boy are they time-wasters! I think you made a great choice , but I'm glad you continue to blog. I enjoy reading what you post and look forward to more fun posts in the future!
ReplyDeleteI deleted my facebook account about a month ago because of the very same reason. It's easy to get caught up in the internet-world and fail to see the more important things right in front of you and boy are they time-wasters! I think you made a great choice , but I'm glad you continue to blog. I enjoy reading what you post and look forward to more fun posts in the future!
ReplyDeleteI love that quote! Thanks for sharing. It is interesting how much I DON'T miss any of those things we got rid of. :)
ReplyDeleteWay to go Hannah! Thanks for keeping it real.
ReplyDeleteI am on Facebook and Blogger...that's it. I started using my lunch breaks at work to do my recreational blog-hopping and that has helped me tremendously. It frees up my evenings for the boys. I can do my blog posts and pack orders after the boys go to bed. And believe it or not, I usually only end up crafting one day or night a week. Unless of course the boys want to craft...and then hey, since they are out, I might as well craft with them. Right?! ;o)
All in all, I feel like even though I have a ton going on, since I really created a schedule for myself I am managing much better.
Amen to that! I feel the same way. I've been weeding out my google reader and such since I got my computer back. And you know, I really didn't miss it.
ReplyDeleteSuch a good post. When we moved into our new house, the computer moved from the living room to its own room upstairs in an office. I LOVE it. I have a much cleaner house now, because I spend so much less time on the computer!! Real reality is always much better. That said, I adore writing my blog too, it's nice to feel connected with the world on those days when I've been home with my little guy too long!!
ReplyDeleteOh Hannah, I could squeeze you. Great decision...from one worrier to another. I just had to lay it all out on the table to my husband because I wanted his advice. After discovering blogging, which I absolutely LOVE, I also realized how incredibly time consuming it is. I put off writing so often for fear that it will not be perfect. That's a hard one for me in all aspects of life. And I was embarrassed by my words, "I'm busy right now" when my girls would ask me to play. So starting this week, I am taking a different focus on my blog.
ReplyDeleteI honestly have no idea how most women bloggers do it ~ the Mothering, the creating, the selling, the perfect decorating/parties/home re-dos. Doesn't something have to give? I certainly can't manage it all.
My best!
Good for you! I have never been able to wrap my head around the quantity of information that people produce! Frankly, I'd rather be crafting in my oh-so limited free time. It is a tricky balance, though, as I meet more and more amazing people online.
ReplyDelete