While at my friends home last week, I was amazed at kind and patient she was while disciplining her daughter. She spoke to her calmly and with more patience than I have ever had. Her daughter is a complete angel...and I am sure she learned that from her mother.
It made me think of MY parenting/disciplining style. I don't yell at my daughter, but I AM a no-nonsense, time-out-threatening, obey-me-now-or-else kind of mom. I am a mom with an evil-eye. E knows just my looking at me if she is in trouble.
Over Christmas, E was showing major preferential treatment towards her dad. (J is the epitome of kindness and patience.) It made me feel worse than I thought it would. I thought about the role of the mother. Aren't we supposed to be the loving, caring, sweet ones? If E skinned her knee...she would run to her dad, not me. Isn't that a little off?
I have made a goal to be more like my sweet husband and darling friend, and I have really noticed a difference in my relationship with E. She came and sat my me a couple days ago on the couch and said, "Lets be comfy, Mom." It melted my heart. And...yesterday...when J went to get her out of her bed in the morning she said, "No...I need Mommy to get me!" Yeah!!
It is not that I don't want her to love her daddy more than me. I actually LOVE that she is a Daddy's girl. But...it is so nice to be preferred once and a while!
I think self-awareness is key. I don't have kids, but I think the fact that you are able to learn and adapt I am positive you are and will continue to be a fantastic mother.
ReplyDeleteMotherhood is definitely one day at a time for me, and some days are way better than others, but the days that are the best are the days when I'm kind and happy with my kids! I think you are a *great* mom!
ReplyDeleteoh, i hear ya, i hear ya. i'm really no nonsense, too, and i think it surprises the preschool kids sometimes when i have them over. i just can't put up with the crap! :)
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